Big Day

Brother comes home to stay with us tomorrow.

I'm very excited. Yes, I'm also scared. Our lives will be very different. But it feels so good to be committed and to know that we are approaching some semblance of normality without hospitals.

The last three months have been very good at teaching me lessons I thought I already understood:

1. You are *never* in control of your life.

2. Even though #1 is true, you have to do your best in the chaos to assume some level of momentum in the direction you think you'd like to go or you won't end up anywhere you want to be. This is often frustrating.

3. People are what they do. Saying you believe in something is easy. Acting in parallel with what you believe is often much more difficult and complicated. This is true of all important things in life: family relationships, non-familial personal relationships, work, taking care of yourself, seeking happiness, and tons of other things I probably haven't had the opportunity to consider. In short, "It's the moment. Stupid." Every moment is a gift. Every moment is finite and you cannot use it to do everything. Every opportunity you have to interact with others is a gift. How you choose to use those gifts is your life. And life is often not easy, but damn is it a gloriously beautiful story.

I am grateful. And Excited! Yay Brother Coming Home!